Remembering

This blog has allowed me a place to share the special days or anniversaries that I keep in my heart. It has been heart warming and therapeutic to articulate the words that best describe those I love.

This month there are 2 special dates that I mark and I take joy in remembering two of the important men in my life.

February 6 was the day my father passed away in 1979. 30 years ago. I can't help but think of how the world has changed in 30 years and wonder what he would have thought about it. It makes me smile to think of what he would have said about some topics. There are certain characters in the media that occasionally remind me of him: Red, the father in "That 70's show", Frank on "Everybody Loves Raymond", the movie "Grumpy Old Men". You probably see the pattern here. He had lots to say and a particular style of sharing it!

But aside from that I have such respect for what he accomplished in his life. He had a rough start. His mother died in childbirth in a small village in Northern Greece. He was my grandparents first child. My grandfather then gave him to my grandmother's brother and wife to be raised and began a new life with a new wife and subsequent children. And they immigrated to Canada without him.

When he finally did come to Canada on his own, he came with the intention of beginning a new life; leaving old grudges, politics and the old way of life. He said he came here to be Canadian.

We spoke English at home unlike many of my relatives. He didn't join any of the groups that formed to celebrate ethnicity or congregate at the coffee shops with those who recreated their culture here.

He learned a trade by correspondence. We still have his books with the translation notes in the margins. And then he started a business and worked 6 days a week with no vacation. That's what you do. He loved his work in electronics: TVs, stereos, radios.

I was at a wedding a few years ago when a local physician came up to me and said "I'll never forget when we came to Canada and your father gave us the first TV we had ever seen." Encountering technology after living in a village without indoor plumbing or electricity was a big deal. There is so much that we take for granted.

I think about how much he would have loved computers, laptops, cell phones, DVDs. He didn't even live to see a VCR. It's hard not to think about what he missed starting with my wedding the year after he died and the birth of his grand daughter 4 years later.

For so long I could only think about how he worked so hard, paid off the mortgage on the house, then died without a vacation since his honeymoon in Ohio. His dream was to go back to the Mediterranean for a cruise. I would love to live that dream for him.

Years later I think less about what he missed and more about what I learned from his example, such as taking pleasure and being happy with simple things. He loved to listen to music on the radio while he worked. He loved to come home and walk immediately to his garden to pick tomatoes, cucumbers and lettuce for his salad. He loved to shine everything up with window cleaner! He loved children and was a beloved uncle. Sometimes he took payment in plants or cookies from seniors who couldn't afford to pay to get their TV fixed.

Under that gruff exterior was a softie who pretended to be annoyed with the work of pets but was the first one to take the dog for a walk or feed the cat. And if no one was in the room, he gave them treats. (He thought we didn't notice....)

This was the picture of him that was shown at his cousin's funeral last year. Like I said he loved children and always made them laugh or was hoisting them on his shoulders.



Our lives and everything we have was built on those broad shoulders. He prepared a foundation for us so that our life would be better and easier than his. And I will always be grateful.

Part 2 of this memory post to follow.