I am blessed

That says it all about my Christmas. The people, the food, the gifts...this was one of the best Christmases ever. And the very best part was going to church with my daughter. We began Christmas morning together, at midnight mass. We walked in and immediately saw my former coworker and very wonderful friend playing and leading the choir. And when we sat down I realized who was behind me. I whispered to my daughter "It's him...right behind me...the young man who came up to me at Father's day...it's him..."

She looked into my eyes and knowing what it all meant to me said "I'm going to start crying..." This moment was my most precious Christmas gift.

He was the one who said the words that inspired me to write and finally share my words. These words so moved me, I put them at the top of my blog under the title and at the bottom of my blog under the posts. I remember coming home and immediately going on the computer to write an email to a handful of friends. I couldn't just keep these words to myself. And every week I began to share an email with a growing list of people. They would be the amazing moments and people that I encounter in my very ordinary life. Moments like the bird that touched me as it flew past, the people like Mrs Twist who will turn 100 years old in 2008. I got to see her on Christmas Day too!

Mrs Twist's laugh just cracks me up! She looked great, sounded great, and is doing just fine. I wish I could show you the pictures...but I want to respect everyone's privacy. Believe me when I say the pics are great! I bought myself a digital camera!

I have so much to be grateful for...family, friends, eating gluten free...yes I had GF pumpkin pie, cookies, butter tart squares and pizza shells from My Baker. I had cheese, butter and ice cream! For years my stomach would be so sore from dairy but now the gluten is gone...I can eat dairy. So I tasted all the wonderful GF food at my very wonderful friends' on Christmas Day AND AT A WEDDING!! We went to a very large and lovely wedding celebration on December 22 and I had a special gluten free dinner. It was delicious. But unlike many of my fellow bloggers I forgot to take pictures of my GF food...I forgot I had a new camera...so I took pictures of my drinks: gluten free martini, gluten free cappuccino, and gluten free wine. Not sure how I ended up with all 3 all at once...

And yet...at this time of year I remember being the one who listened to a litany of what other people "got for Christmas" and being the one who didn't get much. This Christmas is so wonderful because I remember the sad Christmases, when we couldn't get home, when we lost loved ones, when the money barely stretched to pay bills let alone buy gifts. So if you read this and feel your blessings come up short...have hope for brighter days, have faith in your future and always be grateful for what you do have...that is what kept me going....God is good.

What were your blessings? What are you grateful for this Christmas?

Something good is going to happen

My daughter was 12 when her father died. In that short time he packed in a lot of parenting, teaching her life skills that serve her well today as a 23 year old adult. I was amazed. I didn't even realize it until after he was gone.

That first fall we were outside doing yard work. I took a small hack saw to a large branch that had fallen from our huge maple tree. I wasn't getting the job done with that little saw. She said that she knew what could cut it better and came out of the garage with safety goggles and a reciprocating saw. She attached the blade, plugged it in and with flourish and a big saw sound, she had that branch cut in minutes. When I asked how had she learned to use that saw? she said "Daddy taught me".

In the coming months and years I found out she knew how to check all the fluids on the car, use every power tool we had and even change the filter on the furnace. We discovered that one by accident. She told me she didn't know how at first.Changing the filter involved going into the crawl space which is none too pleasant for a tall person and she is almost 6 feet tall. My brother attempted it first but came out and said he couldn't figure out how to remove it. She piped up and said it was easy just turn the screws in the corners....we turned our heads to look at her...and as she put her head up she realized her mistake....busted!! Get your coveralls on young lady and get into that crawl space!

We have pictures of her up on the ladder with her dad, cleaning out the eaves trough and painting the house. They had gone to Karate together too. All this nontraditional training influenced the sports she chose. She was nervous about gym class in high school but by grade 10 found enjoyment on the Wrestling team (greco roman) and later, the Senior Boys Football team. So the girl that was afraid to take gym in grade 9 went on to win a gold medal in wrestling locally, a silver in the region, placed 6th in the province and went to Nationals in Saskatchewan. With training, time and determination she made herself into an athlete.

I definitely think she was encouraged to try these sports because of her dad's early influence. I wanted her to do swimming...I loved watching her do laps with her long, strong arms and legs propelling her through the water, flipping herself in turns at the wall. I was never the athlete in the family so it was a joy to watch her competence. It was her Dad who was a natural at things like skiing, looking like a professional on the first day out while I sulked in the ski lodge due to my lack of co-ordination. She however liked the aggressive physical challenge of sports like wrestling and football.

And what occupation did she chose? Hairdressing! I love the unexpected twist! She has enormous design talent and loves styling, working with her hands and serving clients needs. She LOVES it! Talent will always out.

So as we come up to Christmas, I think about these good memories and of course miss John's presence. I stopped by the cemetery yesterday for a moment of reflection and prayer.

One of the ways we remember John is something that my daughter started years ago. Whenever we would see one of the trucks belonging to the company he worked for, she would say "Something good is going to happen!". Well, yesterday while I was at rehab 3 of those trucks showed up. They were working within several feet of where I spend hours of my time every week. I got to see the familiar company logo, the one that was parked in my driveway for years, the familiar uniform I put through the wash more times than I can count. And I thank God that I had the opportunity, the privilege to make those memories.

Merry Christmas! Something good is going to happen, indeed.

Why I read blogs.

My brother thinks it's bizarre that I don't read the newspaper or watch the news. I told him if I'm meant to know about something someone tells me. He wondered how I would know what I don't know?

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with the paper. Today someone gave me a recipe from the newspaper for gluten free turkey gravy and I am very grateful! It looks like a really good recipe. (This proves my point.) For now, the stories I chose to read are on blogs. Real life, ordinary stories about real people and their families. Plus a few extraordinary people.

I've linked to this blog before. Last time it was about his mom, this time it's his grandpa. I like this idea for Christmas giving:

My grandpa is the kind of guy who sponsored a child in south America on behalf of his grandkids…and presented it to his grandkids as a Christmas gift. I probably thought he was crazy when i was 10….I wanted toys. But I think he planted the seed for my growing passion for social justice and the caring of the orphan and widow.
Here's the whole story.


Another Blog:
Nurse in Haiti....Live Simply so that others can simply live.

Please say a prayer for these patients. Many of our patients walk a day to get here, have to sleep under trees, in front of the gate, or on people's porches to wait for their turn to pass in the clinic. Tonight, after we saw 340+ people and were done after dark, there are many scared that they haven't arranged a place to sleep. We'll offer for them to come inside the clinic for tonight, but can't do it everyday due to our limited space and the security of the kids, us, and the supplies in the clinic and RC. Any robber can say that they are waiting to pass in the clinic just to get inside. They have not arrested anyone for the murders. Pray for peace and safety of our friends, patients, and village.

Contains pictures of graphic, serious medical conditions...don't go if you're squeamish.
Here is the blog.

Are you ready for Christmas?

That’s the small talk question leading up to Christmas. It is understood that we are referring to the traditional holiday presents, the food preparation, the travel arrangements, the home décor. In years gone by those were my main concerns too. I had lists, lots of lists and systematically checked them off. Life is different now. My preparations are much simpler.

So this year I am preparing in a different way. I’ve been thinking about this baby that will be born on Christmas Day and His Mother. I remember a friend who took her son to his Grandmother’s church and after seeing the story retold asked “Is this a true story?” And being a gracious yet honest person (who had questions herself) replied, “Millions of people in the world believe it to be true”. I am one of those people.

So this advent I am thinking about Mary and the preparations she had leading up to the birth of Jesus. What was she thinking? Was she scared? Was she happy? The angel told her not to be afraid. She must have needed that angel.

Having a baby is life changing. Giving birth to the Savior of the World, the Son of God….I would have been scared. Everything is going to change. Nothing will ever be the same, yet she stepped forward.

In my own small way, I want to step forward and be ready to accept change. That is how I'm preparing for Christmas: to be ready to accept what the future holds. Life is always changing. Nothing will ever be the same as it was. I’ve got to be ready.

I take great comfort in the words from today's daily readings. To hear them click here or on the Daily Scripture Readings in the sidebar. This will redirect you to a podcast site.

Each word seems written just for me….even though I know it really is for everyone…

Strengthen, the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees.

…Be strong do not fear!

…they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

The Lord upholds the orphan and the widow…

Be patient beloved until the coming of the Lord…

Have a coffee with your (GF) Banana Cream Pie!

I had seen him before at the bakery. He was a little different. Challenged would be the politically correct term. He seemed harmless. I just wasn't sure how to converse with him. What was his problem? Did he understand? Was he hard of hearing? He laughed and talked a little too loud.

Last week I saw Mrs Baker talking to him. And she talked to him just the same way she talks with everyone else: with a smile, listening to every word, with eye contact, making general comments and small talk. She was polite, courteous and interested.

So when I dropped in this week I wasn't quite so standoffish when I saw him there. "CUSTOMER!" he shouted, as I walked into the bakery. I could see The Baker and Mrs Baker in the kitchen tending to cookie sheets and flour, as they tend to do. My usual chair at the back table wasn't there. I would have had to pull a chair from the table that the guy was sitting at...the guy that laughs and talks too loud. I should also say he always has a big smile.

He smiled big and told me to sit with him. He said he was bored. He was just doing The Baker's crossword puzzle. I asked Mrs Baker for a glass of water and she said she would be back out in a few minutes to get my order.

So I sat with the guy and told him I was here to have the banana cream pie (did I mention it was gluten free??). He was aghast. HOW COULD I DRINK WATER WITH THE PIE?? I told him he was right...how could I??? I need coffee....and he shouts back LOUDLY for someone to "BRING HER SOME COFFEE!". Now I think this is pretty funny because it's like in the movies when they shout "WAITER!" Does anyone do that? Mrs Baker doesn't even blink about the shouting and just comes out with my pie and pours me coffee. One word....AMAZING!!

The pie, the coffee, the pie, the coffee....the whole melange in my mouth. I should have put the fork down but I frankly didn't think the guy that talks too loud would notice and he didn't. And I told him he was right, I had needed the coffee.

And he said he would buy me the coffee...but not the pie. I was on my own for that. But he wanted to treat me for the coffee. And I thanked him.

As I went to pay for the pie, I told Mrs Baker that he was buying my coffee. And I asked her for his name so I could thank him again. It was something in what she told me about his name, that they had been calling him the wrong name for years till he corrected them. And I realized she had told me about him before when talking about the regulars that come in. She had told me that he has schizophrenia.

And I wondered who is the challenged one? Certainly not the kind fellow who smiles big, shares his table, buys me a coffee, makes a menu recommendation (he was right about the coffee), makes small talk. OK, he talks a little LOUD. So what's wrong with that?? Nothing. Nothing is wrong with that. And I think I just learned something BIG at the bakery.

Silly words

If I had super powers I would be...

WORD GIRL!!!

fighting for truth, justice and the right word.
crime doesn't pay and the right word is priceless.

You're transformed and I'm not...

Those were the words of someone who reads this blog. I laughed at the time because it was the gmail server that picked my email...alex.transformed. A Kelly was taken.

This week I was transformed alright...into a big GRUMP. Life is not always a shiny blog entry and this week I was unworthy of being the author of a blog that includes words of kindness, gratitude, forgiveness and love. And unfortunately I know it will probably happen again.

I blew up at a friend about something I should have addressed earlier in the week before I became a volcano of resentment and martyrdom. That was on Thursday. Then after our shift at work, in the wee hours of Friday morning, we wrapped the gifts we are giving to 6 children in need. Babies and children under 12 who have no parents and live in orphanages and group homes in our community. By the time we were done there was 3 carts piled with gifts. Clothes, underwear, socks books and a few well chosen, age appropriate toys. And I started to cry thinking of them opening these gifts.

So it is apparent to me that I write this blog to inspire myself. To remind myself what I believe and to try to remember to live it.

Sorry is a word my friend, sorry is a word.

Going to Church

My friend is beginning a new journey of faith. I love her questions!

How do you pronounce Ephesians? Do you have to go to church?

I don’t have all the answers but I’m going to learn a lot by even trying to answer her questions.

Pronunciation: ee-fee-zhenz : a letter addressed to early Christians in Ephesus and the surrounding churches of Asia. And no, you don’t have to go to church. But one day, you will want to.

Last Sunday, there were a few moments when I was so grateful for church. As I walk up to receive communion I usually steady myself by placing a hand on the wooden pews as the line moves. As I did that someone’s hand gently covered mine. It was C. who often gives me a big hug after mass and tells me to “have a great week”. She gave me a big warm smile in the seconds it took to pass her.

Then on the way back to my seat, I hear my name quietly whispered and I am given a huge smile by another C. She was the one who heard me singing along with the youth choir last winter. The next week she brought me a tape of all the songs. Her daughter is in the choir. She said she could tell I love the music. She signed it “Love C.”

When it was time for the sign of peace, usually a hand shake, B. gives me a big hug and says “peace be with you dear heart”. She says that every week.

And before the final blessing G. sneaks over to grab my hand in both of his and wishes me "Peace" by name.

I often think of Malibu Barb, one of the first people I met at this church. If I had not gone to church, I would never have met her. Where would I have been without her?

I like to think that God is not a "stay at home" God. When I step out He is there...in the smiles, hugs and handshakes of those who love Him. He meets me at church. And I can't wait to see Him there. And I really think...He can't wait to see you, my friend!

Forgiveness is a word.

The family that blogs together....

First I read this.
It's the blog of an artist, photographer, musician. Beautiful photos. He describes his mother's blog. He is the oldest of 6 brothers.

Then I read his mother's blog.
If your husband had an affair with a co-worker, left you and married her...would you be able to forgive? Would you be able to be her friend?

I read somewhere that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Read "Left to Tell".
It is the story of one woman who survived the genocide in Rwanda. She hid in a bathroom with 8 women for 91 days while her family was brutally murdered. She could hear them searching for her. She prayed. She taught herself English with a dictionary and a Bible. And she forgave the people that took away the life she knew and the people she loved.

I read these stories to remember what we are capable of doing in this life, to remind me we really can rise above the worst and come out as better people. Forgiveness is a great gift.

Forgive and you will be forgiven ~~ Luke 6:37

Remember your Nana's kitchen...

I went to the bakery twice last week. I smell like cookies and bread...gluten free of course.

I go for the cookies and bread. I stay for the stories. Some people go there twice a day. I forgot to ask if the unlimited coffee refill applies if you step outside and come back later. While there I met the first gluten free customer they ever had. She was just stopping in for an order and to give a Christmas gift before she left for a winter trip to Florida. She was very excited to have passed her driving test again. She always gives Mrs Baker a hug for carrying her gluten free goodies to the car.

There was a new GF product....Christmas "crackle". I love it!! However, the Baker says this may be the one and only batch of crackle 'cuz he has no idea how he made them. He is confident enough in his skills to admit they were ginger cookies gone wild. They all ran together in one mass of crackley goodness. They may never happen again.

The Baker and I are both allergic to real Christmas trees. We also both had those silver artificial trees as children, those ones with long, straight tinselly branches about a foot apart. Instead of "Andy Williams"... we had "George Jetson".

I loved hearing about their trip to Mexico in February. Since he was "in the business", the Baker got to tour the kitchen of the hotel/resort. It was their first big vacation in years and a well deserved one in my opinion. I hope they take another one soon. Getting up to bake in the wee hours of the morning can wear you down a little. We can't be having any baker burn-out around here. Please. Renew that passport. Plan another trip. Shut the shop...but not for too long! And make some more crackle please!

I think I am definitely a "regular" now...