When I don't feel like writing a blog post I...

...read one.

Here's one from Dr Bob's archive:

Consider: Ashley Smith is a widow with a young daughter, her husband a victim of violent crime. She finds herself taken hostage at gunpoint, bound and gagged in her bedroom by a rapist who has just murdered four people. Her response? She engages her kidnapper, discusses her life with him and inquires about his. When finally unbound, she asks if she can read! Consider this remarkable description from the Wichita Eagle report:...

I love a good widow story.

Click here to read the rest of An Angel from God

Blogs I read instead of watching TV

As quoted on 6 Year Med Student:

From Fred Epstein, MD's If I Get To Five:

"Naomi was only four years old when she arrived at the hospital in grave condition....Even swathed in bandages, she was a feisty kid with dancing eyes and a willfulness I'd rarely seen in adults. During my first conversation with her she climbed to her feet and announced defiantly: "If I get to FIVE, I'm going to learn to ride a two-wheeler!"

I'd see Naomi each day on rounds as we waited for her to regain her strength for the second surgery. While I reviewed her chart, she'd stand up on her bed and update me on her plans. On Monday: "If I get to five, I'm going to beat my older brother at tic-tac-tow." On Tuesday: "If I get to five, I'm going to learn to tie my shoes with a double knot!"

I was always relieved that Naomi never asked me if I thought she'd get to five.

Naomi taught me that the child's determination to embrace the next stage in life, to become more powerful and master new skills, can be a lifetime asset....Children are geniuses at raising the bar for themselves, clearing it, and then setting it one notch higher. Working with children raises the bar for me. They inspire us to dig deeper for the strength to do what feels hardest, what's scariest. Children can model courage and character for adults, if only we pay attention to them."

Tagged...

My first game of tag. I feel like I am accepted in the blog world. I'm not sure who I will tag in turn...but I will post this for Tracy who was the tagger. Thanks
Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself (on your blog, we all want to know them). Then, tag 7 other bloggers!

1. I can't remember the last time I turned on the TV (however, I DO watch EWTN on the Internet and a couple other streaming video programs...but not on the TV).

2. I haven't traveled much but I have been to Scotland 4 times.

3. I sang in choirs for years and I'm not a good singer.

4. I was a vegetarian in High School for years. I stopped because I wanted to eat a burger at McDonalds. I am not proud of this one. I probably would have been much healthier had I stayed a vegetarian.

5. I always wanted to be a Baptist but I felt called to become Catholic.

6. I love sleeping in my van. We put a futon in and use it for camping. If the futon is in, sometimes I'll just go to the driveway and take a nap.

7. a. My faith and my relationship with God is the most important thing in my life. I know most people in the world will think this is weird, but some of you will understand.

7.b. If I say my faith is the most important thing...why do I not always act like it is?? I'm working on this very strange part of my personality. It's about integrity.

Adoration

Last Friday 1am to 2am

Eucharistic Adoration

I was filled.

Filled with God’s love.

I sat with Jesus.

He calls me friend.

One hour of power.

Beautiful.

I walked out smiling and grateful for life.

One simple hour: mostly silent, some prayer, some music.

My thoughts wondered occasionally. Then I focused on Jesus.

And all that I am grateful for: love, family, health, work.

I am so blessed.

A blood test, a walker and a wheelchair

It is food that heals us. This isn't about just being gluten-free. This is about really being alive. This is about living, in food, in community, in laughter.
~~gluten free girl, Shauna James Ahern

Today I went for the Celiac blood test. I keep asking myself why I need to know. The treatment will be no different. Don't eat wheat,rye, barley, AKA gluten. When the subject comes up I will be able to say "I'm Celiac" instead of "I 'm allergic to Gluten". I'll have to explain either statement. I didn't know anything about Celiac and gluten till this year so chances are most people don't either. I've heard there is a tax advantage. I'll be able to deduct my $6 bread and $10 almond flour. They are half the size of "normal" packages.

While I was sitting at the Medical Lab waiting to give my blood for the test, there were 2 people that caught my attention. They weren't together but they were about my age. One was in an electric wheelchair and the other was using a walker. The woman in the wheelchair came out and pulled up close to the man with the walker. She was waiting to speak to a technician. She glanced over and spoke to the man. I heard her say Life is hard sometimes. The man smiled and nodded Yes. Then she said We need more love in the world. The man smiled again, nodded and said Yes.

I remembered when I had to rent a wheelchair. I remembered when someone who saw me walking offered me a walker...less than 6 months ago. I was having a really bad day. I had probably just eaten gluten. Maybe it was pasta, cereal, a sandwich or a can of soup.

This week I went to my newly joined fitness club after work. I walked in and used the cycle and the treadmill. It was only for a total of 13 minutes and it took me over 20 minutes to do it. I had to stop a few times to rest. And I was sweating when I was done. But I wasn't shaking like I was the first day when I only did 3 minutes.

Today, I was reminded of the words "There but for the Grace of God go I..."

Anti Endomysial Antibody blood test...$42.75

Living Gluten free....priceless....

Gluten is a word...part 5

After years of suffering and the downward spiral of symptoms it would be easy to think why did it have to be this way? Part of it was my own narrow mindedness. Someone mentioned gluten to me years ago and I dismissed it because I didn't understand it. But as in so many things I couldn't understand until I was ready. Ready to reach for wellness out of desperation. Ready to change. When you are living with tolerable problems it's easier to stay the same than try something different.

And the people along the way...I am so grateful they are in my life. I found out the great power of friendship and kindness. The friends who were understanding, the ones who encouraged me, helped me get through every day. And of course the ones who were instruments of healing. The gifted professionals who chose their work to help others. Even my doctor is happy for my improvement. He complimented me on my correct diagnosis. I told him it wasn't me...it was my coworker! Now I am now the one telling others.

It was worth every moment of pain to connect with people in a new and deeper way. There is meaning and purpose in suffering even if we can't always open our hearts to its power. I am also reminded that, even though I am stronger right now, I should never forget what it felt like to feel weak and hopeless. I should never forget to have compassion and understanding for those still suffering. I think back 5 years to my simple short prayer for physical and emotional healing. I wrote it because I hoped that it would have more power if the words were written. There is power in the words.

When Jesus saw him and knew that he had been lying there a long time, he said to him, "Do you want to be healed?"
~~John 5:6

Gluten is a word...part 4

I lived with my symptoms and some days were better than others. Now I know that the "better" days were most likely days with less gluten. I started an exercise program that was designed for people with low mobility. I hadn't had the sensation of exercising for years and it was great. I lost inches off my waist and increased muscle tone.

The trainer would tell me to try other activities like walking but I was still in pain. I used pain killers to get through the week but tried to give my body a break by using less on the weekend. That meant limiting activity. It seemed like a vicious cycle.

Everything I ate seemed to cause more pain or swelling. I had eliminated most of the common allergens. I'm not sure why, but I neglected gluten. It was last on my list of things to eliminate. Gluten seemed so foreign a term, more about food science than anything else, and I didn't know much about it.

Then someone new started on my shift at work. She had been told to talk to me because we had something in common: food allergies. She was enthusiastically gluten free. No more pain. No more inflammation. Life was good gluten free. She has become my gluten free "angel" of information and encouragement!

I started eating gluten free during the week. Typically, by the weekend, I would be feeling fabulous. And then I would think, "it can't be the gluten"...and I would indulge (people battling food allergies can be a little delusional at times). Mostly in social situations because I was unprepared or didn't think I should burden others with my problem if I was at someone's house. All the symptoms would return.

As the weeks went by, I was gradually feeling so much better and with lots of reading on the Internet, I learned how to eat gluten free so I didn't feel deprived. And I realized I had to speak up and take care of myself which has always been a challenge for me. I still have some setbacks and reactions but my body seems to recover quicker now. I have to be careful with cross contamination and read labels carefully. My best bet is to eat unprocessed, simple foods that I call "peasant food". It will most likely take me a year or two to heal completely. But for now, everyday feels better than the day before.

My gluten free "angels"...they make life very good. My coworker is am amazing cook/baker and she shares, Doug and Barb from "Nana's Bakery" make me laugh and bake for me, even Zehrs...I couldn't live without the gluten free products. Living gluten free is not so bad. Feeling healthier is very good! I feel GLUTEN FREE GREAT!

~~to be continued, part 5...

Gluten is a word...part 3

Everything started to get worse about 5 years ago although I've lived with stomach problems all my life. I don't blame my doctor. He tried to address my symptons and give me some relief. Tests, specialists, meds. He really tried. I told him I couldn't walk. He signed a handicapped parking application and I stopped complaining and lived with it. But it was no life. I rented a wheelchair one summer to take on vacation. The next summer I stayed home and while walking in the yard I fell like a chopped tree. I spent the rest of the week on the sofa. By God's grace, I went from a job on the road to a physically easier inside desk job.

But I hid how bad it was getting. Lots of painkillers and a few supportive friends. I was inspired by someone who had overcome many physical challenges herself (you know who you are!).

I wrote a prayer asking God to show me my pathway to healing, both physical and emotional. Twelve days after that prayer, I got a phone call from an acquaintance I had met at a woman's group. She noticed my problems walking and said she was selling a powerful supplement that might work for me. Later on I would find out that she had said a prayer to connect with people who she could help.

The supplement helped immediately and I experienced relief for a while. I was able to walk easier, there was less swelling and pain. But I had to take large quantities adding several products to get results. Now that I know what the problem really was, I realize it was like trying to put out a house fire with a bucket. The supplement was good detoxifier but the problem was systemic. If I was still ingesting gluten which my body viewed as a toxin, the supplement would never really work completely. The inflammation grew and affected so many areas. Each problem had it's own name: edema, rosacea, cellulitis, ovarian cysts, arthritis, psoarisis, acne, gout, fungal infections, irritable bowel, chronic fatigue. Since giving up gluten 3 months ago EVERYTHING IS BETTER OR GONE! Thanks to a new coworker who was enthusiastically gluten and PAIN free...

~~to be continued....Gluten is a Word...part 4

Gluten is a word...part 2

1 out of 100 Americans, it is estimated, has celiac disease. Only 3% of us have been diagnosed. Now, some of those people have skipped the doctor's visit, the blood test, and the biopsy. They stopped eating gluten and felt so much better that the official diagnosis doesn't matter. They aren't counted in the official statistics. But most of the people with celiac have belly aches or anemia or swollen joints or infertility problems or exhaustion or a multitude of little complaints that they have come to accept. They don't know that they could feel better. They could be reborn.
~~gluten free girl from the blog post "do you have celiac?"

I have been reborn. "Gluten free girl" said it so well I had to quote her.

She has a book by the same name coming out this week and I'll be buying it.

Last week someone told me I even sound stronger. Every week I feel better than the week before. But strong is definitely not how I felt for most of last winter.

I won't go into all the symptoms in this post but I will say I experienced the most physical pain I have felt in my life. Pain and lots of swelling everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Swollen joints, feet so swollen I couldn't do up my shoes, fingers so swollen I couldn't close them, eyes so swollen it hurt to open them. Even my ovaries were swelling. My doctor asked me if it felt like a knife was going into my body. Yes I said that's exactly what it felt like.

One day at work after eating multigrain oatmeal I felt like someone was stepping on my feet wearing steel toe work boots. I started to cry and begged a coworker to get me water so I could take painkillers. I couldn't even walk to get myself water. Multigrain oatmeal with good things like whole wheat and spelt. It sounds so healthy right? I came home and threw away the box. For someone with wheat intolerance or Celiac it is definitely not healthy. But I didn't know it at the time. I was playing hit and miss with the game of find the food allergies.

~~to be continued...Part 3

From the archive: Gluten is a word...part 1

Painting, posture, pie, peers and pudding

During a break from painting my porch railing, I had a chance to talk to 3 teens from my neighbourhood. (They were the ones painting.) One told me about hurting his back playing basketball the day before. Another mentioned it really helps him to keep his back straight so that it doesn't hurt. His posture is almost soldier-like. He had baked an apple pie this week that turned out really good. His friend agreed. The pie was excellent.

I told them about someone throwing a pudding at my car from the window of a school bus the day before (see Friday's post). I was glad to hear they were just as appalled as I was about the incident. I asked if they knew what school that bus came from. They knew alright. And they told me about worse things happening on that bus. This bus comes from a school where kids have special needs.

They also told me about someone they know who sleeps in a van. Someone their age who goes to school during the day. Before finding a van, he was sleeping in the park. We talked about this for a while; how and why a situation like this could be happening.

I've been thinking about all these things for the last day. These great kids who help me out, getting hit with a pudding, the kid sleeping in a van as the temperature drops. It's been easy to blog about kindness and amazing people. It's harder to blog about a kid sleeping in a van. I'm definitely not as angry as I was when I was hit with a pudding.

I'm not kidding, I was hit by a pudding...and it was chocolate

I haven't posted this week because I wanted anyone who visited to meet Mrs. Twist. If you live to be 99 I will do the same for you.

I had a lot of running around to do today and here are just a few highlights:

I went to see my medical Dr who for the first time was unhurried and chatty. We had a delightful conversation. We talked about the Internet, hand sanitizer, working Saturdays, retirement. We even talked about medical stuff. Like the fact that in Med School he was taught that cocaine is probably not habit forming or addictive. He kept the text book to prove it.

After my appointment, I was driving by a grade school whose little soccer hooligans had thrown their ball outside the fence onto the road. I had my window open so I heard them shouting for someone to stop and...you guessed it. I had to stop. I put the 4 way flashing lights on and stepped out to get the ball. That is when the chanting began: "Boot it, Boot it, Boot it". I laughed and threw the ball over the fence.

Later, I was on a very busy main street, in the middle turning lane when something that sounded like rock hit the top of my car. It took me a few seconds to realize whatever hit my car came from the school bus that passed in the opposite direction. It was just inches from the windshield. I immediately turned the car around and that is when I saw the unopened chocolate pudding cup in the middle of the road. I had been hit by a drive-by pudding. I started to chase the bus.
It crossed my mind that I didn't know what I was going to do if I caught the bus. There was a red light so I got a little behind. Not quite as dramatic as those TV or movie chases. The bus had stops to make so I caught up. All this in a 50km zone. Neither of us were moving fast. This was very law abiding chase (other than the pudding). I wondered if I would pull up in front of the bus and order it to stop demanding to know who didn't eat their pudding at lunch today.
Then I see him, one of the kids who got off the bus. Our eyes lock as he is walking and I am driving. I know it is him. I'm sure he recognized the van. In spite of my certainty, I kept driving.
I got the number of the bus and I'm calling the school board on Monday.

I bet you didn't think you were going to read a story about cocaine, a soccer ball, and a drive-by pudding on my blog today did you?

Taking to Mrs Twist...part 1

Today I had a Great Canadian Thanksgiving Dinner with some Great Canadians and a few Great Americans (who just couldn't wait till November...). I think this was the hottest Thanksgiving ever. It was as hot as a July weekend.

As usual I was at my friends' house enjoying the food and the people. When I described their Father's Day get-together I called the conversation thought provoking. Today in honour of our heat wave I am going to be a little more descriptive and graphic. After the meal, the dinner table turns into the "Hot Topic Table". These are brave and courageous people, Christian community activists who say what they think. None of that "don't talk about Religion and Politics" in this house. The discussion is lively and everyone is heard. Say what you think. Join in. You may not be agreed with but that's OK. You might just hear a new perspective.

I mention this not only because this discussion is part of the fun of these gatherings but also to put into context my confession. I had never talked to Mrs Twist because I was always listening t0 the conversations. And now I realize what I had missed.

I heard someone talking to her, this lovely, quiet woman with the quaint accent. She is an old family friend from years back, originally from Wales, now left with no family. She has been at many of these dinners and was always a quiet presence. In my defense I had never sat near her. I do actually converse and join in with the chats going on around me. I thought she was around 90 years old. Well, it turns out she was 90...10 years ago! Mrs Twist turns 100 next June. I immediately pulled up a chair beside her.

She came to Canada on a ship in 1947. It took two weeks to get here. She much prefers flying but feels she is no longer up to the trip. The Church she attended in Wales invited her to come back because they are also celebrating 100 years. She still has a brother in his 80's and a younger sister who are all that is left of the family of ten children. Her own only child, a girl, died in 1957 at the age of 14. Mrs Twist said that her daughter only finished a few months of high school when she was killed in a terrible car accident in a bad storm. She paused for a moment, seeming to bring the memories fully in focus. I paused also then asked what was her name? She smiled and said Mary. Her name was Mary.

I asked about her daily life and how she manages, and about her house. When she told me she lives in a war time house I said I live in a war time house too. She asked grinning, is it the smallest one? I said yes it is and we both laughed. You can't get much smaller than the smallest war time house! She mentioned her new shed but also talked about how the old shed landed in the alley upside down after a wind storm and all that was left was the dirt floor. She said she had told her late husband to put in a concrete floor! We laughed again.

Then we realized we had a friend in common....

Talking to Mrs Twist...part 2

I was amazed at how sharp Mrs Twist was for someone turning 100. There were a few things she could not remember and she said she wished she had written down some things. (Another good reason to blog...). There was one thing she remembered well. When I asked: what church do you go to? She immediately told me and I said my neighbor went there....do you know Jesse?

Jesse! Yes of course she knew Jesse! They had gone together to the veterans' memorial at City Hall Square and it was Jesse who held her arm as they walked. That was the week before Jesse passed away in her 70's. She was one of the original families in my neighborhood and we were missing her terribly since she passed almost 2 years ago. She had lived here for almost 50 years.

We talked about Jesse's last day. She had spent time with Irene who was one of her best friends just 2 houses down. She hand delivered all her Christmas cards. Then went home and had a massive heart attack. She just had time to call Irene. All the neighbors gathered on the sidewalk while the ambulance was still there. Her children and grandchildren started to arrive. Her grandson came out and told me, she's gone to be with the Lord. She's with Grandpa now. She's happier.

Jesse had occasionally wondered why God had left her here without her husband. She missed him so. She was a woman of great faith. She was just wondering. Not doubting God in any way. Just wondering.

I found the Christmas card in the mail box the next day.

Mrs Twist kept saying "What a small world".

Meet the Macedonians

“…love all the brethren throughout Macedonia…aspire to live quietly, to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands…” Thessalonians 4:10-11

When I read the book of Thessalonians I wonder if my ancestors heard these words. My DNA was definitely in the neighborhood. My father was from outside the city of Thessaloniki in the Northern Greek province of Macedonia. This weekend some of my mother’s side of the family had a reunion at the Macedonian Convention in Dearborn Michigan. We attended the picnic on Sunday, experiencing some of the wonderful traditions: dancing in the open air, lamb roasting on the barbecue and most importantly being together.

Aunt Olga traveled from British Columbia and cousins came from Toronto. We could not miss this visit with Olga, since she is celebrating her 85th birthday. We hugged and kissed so much and so hard that tears came to my eyes. Now I mean that it was a kind of tender reunion hug that touched my heart. But I could feel the strength and health still in her body and when I reminded her of how she always beat me in tennis when I was in my twenties she said “I could still take you!”

She looked stylish as usual with blond highlights and pointy toed designer shoes. When I admired them she said they were old. She danced with the crowd of all ages. She danced beside the table holding my hands so that I could sit. She danced the fast songs, she danced the slow songs. There are challenges with her memory. But she remembered us and while we hugged she said how much she misses us. She said she thinks of us everyday. She says one day we will all be together again. Yes, I said, we will.

We laid out the long scroll containing the family tree, filling in names and dates that were missing. We talked about the wedding anniversaries, 25 years, 40 years and what all of the young cousins are doing. There were discussions about old neighborhoods and of course, the upcoming celebration of Olga’s birthday. We don’t get together often because everyone leads busy lives. Olga said that too. Everyone is busy. But we share a history and a heritage and we are forever connected.

The rest of the weekend I stayed at the Hampton Inn with one special cousin who has always reminded me of Ann Margaret. She’s fun, a little flirty and was always known for big hair. She is a very young at heart 65 year old grandmother.

I just love those Macedonians.

hoping you have many happy reunions
your Thessalonian friend
alexsandra

another post from my summer email blog...in honour of a family day...
Happy Canadian Thanksgiving.

Gluten is a word...part 1

I've been debating whether to blog about my struggle with food allergies. It is has been a long and winding road to wellness. Some of the people who know me have heard this story. But many have not.

I'm seeing a ripple effect as I share my experience. People who have symptoms they have lived with for years, symptoms they have been given medication to treat, symptoms that never completely go away no matter what meds they take...are getting better when they remove gluten from their diet.

I've mentioned that some of my earliest memories of childhood are of reading and books. The other big memories are stomach problems, rashes and pain. I just found out that there are countries in Europe where children are routinely screened for Celiac disease. The term Celiac was invented by a Greek. That's where my people came from. This is all new to me and many of the people I know. And maybe it is new to you.

This is not going to be a blog with all the info on Celiac Disease and food allergies. This will just be my story and a little of what I've learned. Because this blog is about how words change and transform our lives. And gluten is a word that has changed mine.

Just so you know...this story is definitely going to have a happy ending.

Friday Funny

"Do you want more proof? I haven't done that pillar of salt thing for a while."

~God...played by Morgan Freeman in the movie Evan Almighty

Freedom

I was going through a rough time. It was so rough, that I started to cry as soon as I woke up. It was a warm March day, but it had been a long winter in many ways. I was looking for anything to make me feel better, so I went outside and sat on the porch to open the mail. My monthly inspirational mailing had arrived. I was hoping for something to lift me up. I opened it and at the exact moment I began to read:

Galatians 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free…”

I felt the wings of a bird touch my knee as it flew past me. I could feel the flutter of wind on my face as the bird swooped and flew away in front of my eyes. In that moment God reminded me that He was still there. Tears started to slide down my cheeks and I understood that my life was more than the burdens I felt that day. I had woken up with overwhelming fear and frustration, but now I had only joy. God touched me, and finally reached me, with the wings of that sparrow.

I remembered something my daughter had said: “We really don’t have to worry about anything do we?”

That’s right. I had forgotten.

The way I see it on my cup

The Way I See It #291

In a world where celebrity equals talents, and where make-believe is called reality, it is most important to have real love, truth and stability in your life.

~Bernie Brillstein, film and television producer

...got this message 2 out of 4 visits to St. Arbucks...

Mama's Kitchen

My baker told my about a Jamaican take out place. I was in the neighbourhood so I decided to stop and try it. It's a little place that used to be a hair salon. The place looked immaculate to me but the owner was busy cleaning. I chose the jerk chicken which I love but decided I would try the curry goat next time (really I will).

He apologized that it would take 5 minutes...I said no problem I've got lots of time. As I sat waiting I looked around. There was one wall filled with boxes of salt cod, spices, canned peas, special beverages, and lots of products that I have never seen before. I had also never heard the music playing before. It was definitely Gospel.

When my order was ready he thanked me for waiting. I name dropped and told him my baker sent me. And then I saw the words written on the wall behind the cash register.

God Bless You and Please Come Again.

Next time...curried goat.

My Journey --The Word at the Door

"Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
~Matthew 18: 3-4



When I was a child I was an early reader. I spent a great deal of time at the library. My earliest memories involve books. My mother said I always had a book in my hand and never played with toys. So when someone came to the door selling Bibles I realized this was a book I had never read. My mother gave me a dollar and I bought my first bible. I was 10 years old.

I loved this book immediately and started reading it aloud to my constant companion, my cousin. She has no recollection of this so I guess she wasn’t really listening. Anyway, when a friend at school told me about her church I asked if I could go too. I had been baptized in the Eastern Orthodox Church but my family did not attend. So I started going to a United Church.

Thinking back I realize that The Word came to me. Knocked right on my door. What a strange thing to be a 10 year old bible thumper reading scripture out loud. Ummm…maybe I should be podcasting…or writing a series of books about Little Evangelical Alexsandra...

Mass Moments

I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15

I have a confession. Sometimes I lose focus at church and start to look around. Last week there was a girl about 3 or 4 that made so many hand gestures I wasn’t sure if she was making the sign of the cross or stealing second base. She was adorable. Not so the boy who would not stop moving during the whole mass…and my racing thoughts as I tried as hard as I could not to watch him.

I told myself not to look at him. I looked at the Cross, the floor, closed my eyes…when I opened them he was still there pretending to play the drums, swaying back and forth, talking to his friend, laughing during the most sacred parts. If he had been 3 or 4 I would not be troubled, but he was at least 12. He was old enough for self control, or so I thought. His mother quietly told him several times to stop. I managed to make eye contact with him and gave him my best disapproving parental gaze. He lowered his eyes and was still for 10 seconds then resumed the workout.

My emotions ran from annoyance to anger and I thought: why are they sitting so close to the front, why doesn’t his mom separate the 2 boys or make him leave? After I had looked at the Cross intensely, trying to forget he was there, my heart softened. I was looking at the Cross but I could still see him. I was looking at the Cross. That boy, still a child, is there for the same reasons I am there: forgiveness, mercy, peace and love. He may not know it, but I am sure his mother does. We are not so different. Why do I do the things I do when I know I should do better?

Later in the week, I had a discussion with a friend. Why don’t people do the right thing? What if someone disappoints you or is not there when you need them. I don’t have an answer or a perfect response. Some relationships are complicated with long histories. I just know it felt better when I forgave the boy, than when I was angry with him. That must certainly be the right thing.

I keep thinking back to the young man that spoke to me with kind words after mass on Father’s Day. I was crying and he said, “I don’t know who you are, or what you are going through, but I am praying for you and you are loved”. These words touched me deeply. I may not have been able to verbally offer those words to the boy who would not stop moving, but today I will offer them to him in spirit and also to you….

I am praying for you and you are loved
your friend

alexsandra

Blog Marketing Buzz

WATCH L.A. INK ON TLC TUESDAY OCTOBER 2, 2007 10PM!

I was inspired by ragamuffin soul to create this blog.

So when he asks for some blog buzz...I'm there for him.

He was inspired by Paul's conversion on the road to Damascus.

See what happens next. Watch the show.

Summer Memories

“…give and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over…" Luke 6:38

I am imagining a giant measuring cup as big as the sky and my cup is filled and overflowing with summer memories. There is sunshine, swimming, first love, little ones running through the sprinkler, BBQ’s, reunions, camping, pine forests, picnics, reading endlessly, sitting on the dock, frozen frothy drinks, crafting, creating.

This summer I spent a week at a cottage on a lake. There was a moment while I sat on the dock alone. There were no people or noisy boats in sight, just quiet. I saw two young deer at the end of the bay drinking the cool water. I looked at each tree around me, the sky, the water, the wildflowers on the shore, the rocks. I looked with intensity so that I would remember this moment and the feeling of complete peace.

I thank my friend Barb from Toronto for that moment. Through her generosity and hospitality I sit on that dock. She has been my vacation friend for over 25 years, sharing her home and her cottage, organizing camping trips, showing us every inch of Disney World, providing respite when I needed it most. I wanted to take a picture of her when she came in at noon after a morning cycling 86 km. She looked sporty, healthy and very cool. She was waving her hands singing the Dixie Chicks. It would have made a great picture but she changed into her bathing suit so fast that I missed the chance. These are the moments that will inspire me all winter long.

We refer to this wonderful friend as Toronto Barb. I am changing that to Vacation Barb. Her generosity of spirit even extends to vacations that she takes without me. Last year she called me from Hawaii on a Saturday morning. You would love it she said. We must come back together. In July she sent me a postcard of lavender fields at a monastery in France. These are her cycling trips. She says I could ride in the van that often accompanies them. This is what fills my cup. Generous friends like Vacation Barb. Generous friends like you.

Just so that you know that not every moment in my life is filled with peace I share a few of the other memories from my week at the cottage.

- my loud scream when a chipmunk landed on the back of my chair

- my really loud scream as my new acid free hard cover journal fell into the lake.

- a frantic cell phone call to Toronto to ask how to shut off the pump while the living room was filling with water. (apparently, I am not allowed to swim in the cottage)

- guilty gnashing of teeth when I was left alone with gluten filled homemade butter tarts

- the sign in the Tim’s drive through that said Beware of Falling Snow (in August?)

I even forgot a suitcase at the beginning of my journey. The road less traveled is extra long when you travel it twice…or three times… in one day.

hoping your summer was filled with intense moments and many memories
your friend
alexsandra

Another reason why I like blogs

Through blogs I connect to places I would never have known about. Like NorthPoint Community Church. That is where ragamuffin soul works in Atlanta. Specifically he works at the Buckhead Church location. There are 3 connected churches plus partner churches that share resources and people. And Messages. Messages are the talks given by the various Pastors or speakers each Sunday. Each week they are posted on the web site to listen for free. The ones I have listened to are powerful and really made me think. I can't even begin to do them justice on a blog entry. All I can say is if you need inspiration and want to be challenged to see what is really important in life go here and pick a message. It may be just what you need to hear today.