I saw a Christmas Tree.

Come, O Lord, and set us free. Bring your people peace.
~~Advent hymn

Last night I saw a Christmas tree all lit up in someone's living room. The family was sitting watching TV and the tree was in the corner, all lights and decorations glowing. That was the first one I saw in a house, but I had seen the 3 or 4 in the window of the Home Hardware the week before. My celebration of Christmas is starting to feel very different from the world that surrounds me.

I remember as a child making sure the drapes were closed because our Christmas tree was up at the end of November. My mom indulged my brother and let him put it up early and I was embarrassed that someone might see it. We were one of the only ones I knew with an artificial tree. Most people put up their real trees just before Christmas Day. Who knew he was a trend setter?

Over the last few years my holiday traditions have been pared down and simplified for a few reasons. When my husband and my mom passed away within 9 months of each other, my extended grieving overshadowed any enthusiasm for the holidays. I feel some guilt about this for my daughter's sake. One year I literally threw a garland over the willow branch that was part of my modest decor and said that was all I was doing for Christmas. We were thankfully invited out for many Christmas dinners. Maybe you've read about my friends in my other posts: they do all the holidays with gusto. I did the requisite shopping, mostly at the last minute. I actually did cook a turkey...once...and my daughter said "Who are you and what have you done with my mother??"

In recent years the traditions of my daughter's boyfriend's family have become part of our holidays. Some years my days off were few, since I have changed jobs and had low seniority. The last year or two I have struggled with food reactions and health issues so I have simplified even further. I usually bring my simple food with me. I love gift cards. We drove around town and had everyone crossed off the list in an hour and a half. I bought a small, predecorated, prelit tree. I pull it out of the bag and plug it in. I love it!

But what I love most of all is the peace and tranquility and sense of anticipation while I am at Church. The music is full of hope "O Come O Come Emmanual....Rejoice, Rejoice Emmanual shall comfort thee O Israel." There are no trees, no Christmas carols, no lights....until Christmas Eve. That is when we celebrate the Saviour's birth and the Church is transformed with lights and carols of joy.

Those peaceful weeks of Advent leading up to Christmas are my favorite time. The comparison to the world is so vivid. The stores are full, people are cranky, the radio blares the same music over and over until we hate the songs. By the time Christmas arrives people can't wait for it to be over. They are in debt, the tree is dusty and the decorations and excess of gifts are cluttering up the house. In comparison, we continue to celebrate till the Epiphany. By that time everyone else has packed all evidence of Christmas away. Afterall, everything's been out for 4 to 8 weeks for some folks.

I don't consider myself a Scrooge. I love spending the holidays with loved ones and being as generous as I can to celebrate. But I like to keep it simple and stay focused on the origin of this "Holy Day". This week I breezed through the sensory experience of the stores decorated with all the new displays. Yes I got excited and marveled at the beautiful newest ornaments, wraps and gift packs. And I had a few sweet memories of Christmases past when I did it ALL. They were good memories. But I won't be buying much of what I saw. I don't have to own it to enjoy it...it's going to be there for almost 2 months. And keep your drapes open so I can enjoy your tree too.